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How to Lose Your Money, Fake Your Destiny with Great Success By Victor Gonzalez

Everyone talks about how to be successful through hard work and effort. Forget that! I知 going to take a different approach. I知 going to show you how to lose all your hard earned money and fake your own death (I mean destiny), and be successful at it.

Step 1: Be a Sissy-

Being a sissy has nothing to do with physical strength and everything to do with mental strength. I know you want to be successful but you池e too afraid to make a commitment to your dream. You池e scared to take chances. You池e scared to make choices. You want everything to be perfect before you can 鍍ake a risk. Yeah, right! That day will come when Hell and my mother痴 famous spicy hot Sancocho soup freezes (author痴 note: my money is on Hell freezing over first). Nonetheless, don稚 do anything until one of the following has occurred: All the stars in the constellation have aligned themselves perfectly, you致e spotted a once extinct Dodo bird, or someone absolutely guarantees you that you will not fail. Until one of these things are in place, don稚 do anythingbe a sissy.

Step 2: Listen to Stupid People-

Oh, this is one of my favorite. There are two types of people out there: successful and happy. By successful, I mean someone who has a career and is financially secure. By happy I mean someone who has found their 塗appy place and enjoys where they池e at in life. The latter has less do with money, and more do to with life style. Knowing this, here痴 the key: never, I mean NEVER listen to successful or happy people. They値l just make you nauseous with their ideas and strategies for getting what you want out of life. Instead, listen to friends and family members who are either broke or unhappy. That way if you fail, and chances are that you will, you値l at a minimum have them for company. And we know that misery loves company. Also if you fail using their advice, you can always blame it on them (See Rule 9 for more details).

Step 3: Wait for Divine Intervention-

Yes, another strategy on how to lose your money and fake destiny is to simply wait for the 訴nvisible hand of fate to pass over you and bless you with immense abundance. Yes, go ahead pray and ask God (whoever and whatever that is to you) to rain down upon you all that you deserve. Sit back, do nothing and wait for something to great to happen. Yes, your needs far outweigh those of people in other countries who are dying from HIV, hunger, violence, etc. Don稚 feel guilty. Make your demand on God and if you池e so inclined, you might want to give Him a deadline because you池e in a hurry. But remember, don稚 lift a finger to help yourself, you might offend Him by being so impatient.

Step 4: Develop a Need to Mimic-

Desmond Morris wrote a fantastic book called 典he Human Ape. If you haven稚 read it, you are depriving yourself of a primitive experience and pleasure. Morris talks about the need for humans to mimic in order to feel accepted or more worthy. So, what I want you to do in order for you to lose your money and fake your destiny is look around you and buy whatever your friends or colleagues are buying. But the extravagant cars, the luxurious museum (I mean house), take all the trips you want to exotic places. What about money? Who cares! The point here is that you want to mimic or copy what every one else is doing. Money and debt are nuisances you shouldn稚 have to worry about. What about credit card companies? So what you owe them money, they池e crooks who already have too much money; they don稚 need yours.

Step 5: Take advantage of People-

Here痴 a great tip. Forget about being considerate and to hell with the 堵olden rule. If you can use somebody, do it. I you can take advantage of a situation, do it. Consequences?! Bah! Why bother with such silly notions; they池e so inconvenient. For all you care, you値l probably never have to deal with them again. And if it痴 in a work environment, all the better, screw them any way you can. They probably deserve it for being so dang nave. The basic premise is this, the next time you in a position to really abuse another fellow human being, don稚 think twice, just do it!

Step 6: Invent Your Own Reality-

Ooh, I like this one. To hell with reality, create your own. When someone says, 添ou池e not being realistic, ignore them they池e an idiot. When someone tries to warn you that your overspending and your debts are mounting, just go out and shop some moreyou値l feel better. Remember also that money is the root of all evil and no one should have to really save or keep any around for a rainy day. And, even when everyone is telling you you池e wrong, ignore them because they ALL can稚 be right! And more than likely, they simply don稚 have the same bright, pink outlook on life you have. Dismiss those fools.

Step 7: Never Keep a Commitment Again-

The next time you make a promise, just remember that it really isn稚 a commitment. A promise is an agreement to do something but you reserve the right to change your mind without notifying the other party (aka The When it痴 Convenient Rule). And yes, it痴 OK to over-promise and under-deliver. The Convenient Rule still applies. When you tell someone you壇 show up to a meeting or an engagement, remember that it痴 OK to change your mind, again, without the need to notify the other party. Commitments are so restrictive that you should allow yourself the flexibility to abide by or ignore them whenever you feel like it. What if others complain? They池e just being insensitive to your 壮pontaneity and free spirit.envious bastards.

Step 8: Blame it on the ISM-

The next time things don稚 go your way or you missed out on some promotion or raise, blame it on an 的SM. There are plenty to choose from. RacISM, SexISM, AgeISM, etc. Remember it痴 never your responsibility to be create wealth and opportunity. Someone should always look our for your because you致e been handicapped (i.e., with an ISM) by the unfairness of society. Someone should also make amends and remunerations for your inconvenience should be made to you. Don稚 forge to always complain about how 鍍he man won稚 let you succeed. And always blame your failing on some corporate guy with a nice suite and tie. They池e always guilty of something. They池e all liars and cheats waiting to be exposed.

Bonus rule:

Step 9: It痴 Never Your Problem-

No matter how bad you perform or don稚 perform at all, it isn稚 your fault (Corollary to Rule 8). It痴 never your problem. It痴 always someone else痴 deal. And if you can稚 find a warm body to blame it on, use someone who痴 dead. Dead people are useful for blaming things on because they can稚 dismiss the accusation and you feel better since it isn稚 your fault. If you can稚 find any dead people to blame it on, use the ultimate trump card, the Universe (or Cosmos). Either one is good enough when it come to blame. Just blame your misfortune on some 層eird existential vibe thing that can稚 be defined. And if someone doesn稚 believe you they池e just being insensitive and ignorant of an existence on a 僧uch higher level where you can稚 be held responsible.

Follow these nine rules and I guarantee you that you will lose your money and fake your destiny with GREAT SUCCESS.

Please forward this article; share it with a friend who may need a word of inspiration.

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