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What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger - Or, Does It? By Paula Gregorowicz

Have you ever been considering whether you should or should not do something & then asked yourself, "Well, would it kill me to _________?" Did you feel a twinge of obligation, guilt, or effort when you made your choice? Was there something else you were longing to do instead?

If so, that longing or twinge was probably your spirit speaking. Your spirit that desires to be heeded, considered, and listened to when you make decisions about your time.

I was recently coaching a colleague around a difficult family circumstance. When she was making decisions she was saying to herself, "well it won't kill me to _______." And, she was continuing to get more drained and frustrated by putting forth all this effort toward another person instead of focusing on her own needs. Then, she had an "aha". That "aha" was her discovery of the question that she really needed to be asking herself: "Will it kill my spirit if I ___________?"

It may be a subtle wording change, but it results in a world of difference in the question. What was getting ignored and shortchanged in the situation was her spirit. And, in my point of view, there is nothing more important than nurturing our spirit because that is the essence of who we are. Our spirit is what makes us come alive; what makes us unique, and what allows us to truly live our life rather than just "get along". When we kill off our spirit (and ignoring it is one way to kill it off) we are essentially killing off ourselves becoming just a shell of a person in physical form going through the motions. Surely you've seen this person walking down the hall with their head tilted down and laboring to just get through the day. Maybe you see this person when you look in the mirror. Not only is it not very inspiring, but it is also a terrible waste of potential and gifts that need to be shared with the world.

Nurturing your spirit need not be a monumental undertaking. You don't have to blow off your friends, family, and obligations to give some attention to your spirit. All you need to do is listen to your intuition to hear what your spirit is most longing for.


How often do you make decisions where you say something like - it won't kill me to ________? Would your answer to the previous question be the same if you asked instead the question: will it kill my spirit to __________? What is your spirit longing for? What is one small step you can take or one small thing you can do to nourish that longing?

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